In an instant

Life can change in an instant. And in that instant... a person can be tested in ways he never expected.

In a couple of days, it will be the anniversary of my mother's death. She died on February 24, 2000. I found out around 6 or 7 pm. I had gotten an e-mail from my brother telling me she was in the hospital. I called him, he said he'd come get me and drive me from Milwaukee to Green Bay. I called the hospital and spoke to my aunt. My mother was on life support. She had a massive stroke. She was brain dead.

In an instant everything was different. I don't remember how, but I called my brother back and told him. Then I called my sister in Texas and told her. When I saw my mother on life support... I knew this was the way it had to be. She would not have wanted to linger... That wouldn't have been any kind of life for her.

Like I said... in an instant life can change... and a person can be tested in ways that are quite unexpected. I wrote her obituary. I read her eulogy. I dug through her papers... and found an old life insurance policy. I bussed up to Green Bay to take care of her estate at the courthouse. I cleaned her house. I sold her house. Those were things I never even thought of doing. Yet, I did them. I did so much in one year... so much stuff I never planned on doing... and had absolutely no experience doing. But I did it all.

I had loads of emotional support from my sister. And some physical help with cars and furniture from my brother, my cousin, and family friends. But the things that were the toughest... were the things I never expected to do. And I did them.

Here's the thing... my life is vastly different today. The people in my daily life now were not part of my life back then. So they have no idea how much I was tested that year. Indeed, they only know what they've seen for the past 7 years or less.

So today, nine years later... I'm looking back at that... and realizing... just how much I am capable of. I really wish I could show the people in my life today... what I did back then. I think it might change how they see me. Cuz it sure changed how I saw myself.

In an instant my life changed. And the tests I endured changed how I saw myself.